Masters Of Misconception

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I was flying home the other day and I thought I recognized a face on the plane, but wasn’t really sure so I hesitated and the result was as usual: we went our separate ways probably never to cross each other’s path again.

But a peculiar mood closest to some kind of a guilt trip (?!) wouldn’t leave me alone for days and I would often catch myself thinking back to that day, wondering…

Why would I feel any guilt over not approaching a stranger on a plane.. was beyond me. Maybe because the guy wasn’t really a complete stranger?

Or at least I thought so.

I thought he might be the kid I knew in my early childhood and that we might have played together long long time ago when I used to visit my grandma in the country during the summer break. We must have been eight or nine back then, maybe even younger than that..

And then all of a sudden, while I was staring at the face of a man in front of me at the airport, his eyes and lips looked so damn familiar even though the guy was rather different from the dusty image of a boy that had obviously stuck with me throughout the decades (much to my own surprise?!).

He was taller, skinnier and all grown up, of course, but somehow I was sure it was him.

And even if it wasn’t, I had reasons to be embarrassed about my behavior on that flight.  What kind of a grown person would run away from a childhood buddy instead of at least saying hi? Well, not the person I wanted to be, that’s for sure.

So I decided to do something about it this time.

Since it was impossible to turn back the time and say hi back then & there at the airport, I was left with only one logical solution.

And so I bravely stepped on the path of a regular online stalker.

Yes, I was aware of the fact that the guy might think I was some kind of a psycho, searching for all his online profiles like that, but I decided to risk it and go ahead with my plan anyway.

Those ugly hell fires of guilt were recklessly burning inside me, it was becoming unbearable. Guilt trip is a bitch.. And nobody likes to look like a coward in their own eyes, of course..

I knew that I should probably investigate into the reasons why I had all these mixed up feelings inside me, but I was too busy with my mission for the time being, so I just made a mental note to delve into it some time in the future (some other time!) and moved on, slightly relieved of my guilty conscience..

Anyway, I found some of his points of contact and I used them. No answer. The guy just didn’t respond. My messages were left like that, hanging in the air, unanswered, roaming around in virtual reality, with no purpose or point. And I was left confused, and slightly ashamed of myself, stalking the guy like that.

That was not the way my mamma raised me.

I was supposed to be much better mannered than that.

Which brings me to my main question here: what level of impropriety is allowed or tolerated or maybe even desirable – in reaching to other people? Is the social mask we all wear all the time exactly what prevents us from living our lives to the fullest?

Are we so scared of other people that we will use whatever it takes to run away from any situation with the remotest potential of letting another human being in?

And what is it that we’re scared of? Other people’s madness? Or.. our own?

 

 

 

Love Unreal: the Prologue

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The damn thing could have gone either way.

There were these two people, they sort of met, they sort of locked eyes across a half-lit cafe full of smoke and, at that funny moment, at least one of them felt like a scared teenager.

Maybe it was the sexy combination of dimmed lights and slow music or just perfect timing and alignment of the stars in the sky but pretty much anything could have happened from there.

However, nothing did. OK, almost nothing. A little something did happen and those events will be described under the suitable subtitle “How to Kill a Flaky Dream” a bit later.

Nevertheless, thanks to the human ability to fantasize based on almost nothing, you’ll get to read everything about those (far more interesting, romantic and sexy!) events that never really happened right there, where Love Unreal found a place to live:

https://loveunreal.wordpress.com/

So many fantasies die off, never recorded, never seen or heard of, because we’re usually too ashamed to admit the nasty habit of daydreaming even to our own selves and.. ain’t that a shame?!

This is the reason I decided to let this one live.

So, here goes:

How to Kill a Flaky Dream

You know the feeling when you see someone and you look them right in the eye and then, for apparently no reason at all, something cuts you across the stomach and what you feel is closest to good old teenage fear, mixed with some sweet & uncomfortable excitement?

Well, that is exactly what happened in the story of us that never really happened.

Even though nothing really happened, there were possibilities.

Each of the participants (in this grand nothing) could have chosen to do something about it and act on that flaky hunch. It would have been ideal if that action-hero participant was male but, alas! Those times are history as males are now more delicate than the females of our ever evolving species. Evolution is merciless and poor humans are trying to adjust all the time so at this point we must be full of understanding (blah, blah, blah..!) and the story can continue (even though it really didn’t.. but you understand the concept).. ❤

>to be continued<

Welcoming the New

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There are so many different ways people deal with changes. Some of us love them, some of us hate them and the human nature is probably siding with the latter bunch.

Still, changes are inevitable and there’s just no way around them as no man in history has ever managed to live a life totally void of change.

The main culprit is, of course, time. The greatest modifier of all.

However, today is one of those days when I chose to see the bright side and – share one of the most serious attempts to welcome a new year in style!

Kudos to the artist, the greatest master of home decoration ever!

 

The Bliss Of Nowhere

Take a moment to stop what you’re doing and look at the world.

Now what do you see? Too many people out there, faced with the same dilemma:

Should I quit my job to pursue my dreams or should I stay and make peace with the fact that it wasn’t meant to be?!”

This has become a weird standard lately.

Seems like everyone wants to do something else, be somewhere else, be somebody else.

These are the times of far too many opportunities for identity crisis and no doubt it has something to do with values but this is not supposed to be about the roots of the problem.

This is supposed to be about perspective.

First of all, nowadays everyone seems to feel entitled to career bliss as described in those all-too-inspired promotional materials of various (not so credible?) life coaches and lifestyle preachers or in romantic movies. And hardly anyone is ready to stand in front of a mirror and face reality.

We are not all created equal.

What works for you might not work for me even if my grandma truly believes I deserve to sing the national anthem in front of the crowd of 70.000 at the Super Bowl. Some of us may end up monetizing our blogs, while others may need to do some real, meaningful work in order to survive. And that’s OK as long as you know who you are and what you’re made of and – even more importantly! – what you’re made for.

But, sometimes the distinction is hard to make. Sometimes you realize you can do this and that, equally good. So you shuffle. You do what you can cash in.

And that’s where trouble will hit you, sooner or later. You’ll want to know if there’s another way to survive, besides just making ends meet by doing what you can. You’ll want to know if doing what you can is actually ALL you can do. Or not?

When this shit happens, one thing will surely help.

And that one thing is having NO job.

You don’t want to go through that nasty dilemma from the beginning of this post, do you?! Trust me, that particular dilemma can never be resolved. Not ever.

The right answer always ends up wrong.

What ever you decide you end up regretting. You get the point.

In this situation, there is only one safe place to be and that place is nowhere. No job, no career, no commitments to anything or anyone. Nothing. Nowhere.

When your life purpose comes knocking at the gates of your sanity, just remember one thing – nowhere is the greatest place to be.  From there, you’re free to go anywhere. Right?

Arts & Strategies

Sometimes all it takes is a small intervention and you can make this world a better place. Well, not the whole wide world, of course, but your own little corner. And that’s OK – you gotta start somewhere, right? So start from your walls! There’s nothing more depressing than empty walls. (Except for the jail bars maybe..) Luckily, this is easy to solve and here’s a useful link if you want some quality art hanging around you (because, you gotta have the right strategy for everything, art included!) ❤

http://strategieart.uk/

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The word is IKIGAI!

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I’ve been telling people about missnikolix quite a lot recently when it suddenly hit me – this poor blog hasn’t seen a new post from me since January?! It’s like asking people to come and see you and then.. not be there when they do!

There’s not much I can do about it now, though. I could probably write a zillion lame excuses when in reality all my efforts to explain such a long, long absence can fit into a single word: IKIGAI.

I’m on my quest to find my own IKIGAI and that’s my main mission for this year (and all the years to come, until I find it, even if it takes me forever and a day!) and that’s my only excuse.

IKIGAI is a Japanese concept perfectly explaining the meaning of life if you ask me. (That is, if you insist on your life having some meaning!) I won’t be getting into details here as you can find out more (or all!) about it online so this little explanatory image will have to do 🙂

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